Introduction
By the way, this post is part 1 of 2 if you want to read the second part, scroll down to the conclusion to read about Xash’s journey to discovering her own identity in Christ! Finding your identity is so hard when it seems like there are so many different identities to “choose” from. What I mean is that my identity is comprised of multiple things and I bet yours is, too! For example, My identity involves words like disabled, bisexual, and survivor, but my identity in Christ is something that’s completely different. To me, the phrase, identity in Christ, is actually just one of many different identities someone could have. Just like the word, “disabled,” is part of my identity so is my identity in Christ.
Do you see it? What I’m trying to say is that an identity in Christ isn’t my only identity–it’s one of many each of us has–and that’s part of what makes the body of Christ so beautiful and diverse. If we all identified every single, unique part of ourselves as a part of our identity in Christ instead of the other way around, we would be doing ourselves a disservice! It would be like sweeping away other, valuable parts of our identity behind the curtain. Some people even say that as a woman, our identities are based on our purity and modesty alone. These people couldn’t be farther from the truth. Jesus loved women who did not “dress modestly” or “stay pure.” He loved them for being living, breathing human beings and the same goes for you, too!
What is Your Identity in Christ?
So, now that we all have some sort of idea about what an identity in Christ isn’t, let’s talk about what it actually is (or at least when I mean by the phrase). In the bible, I think that David has a really great understanding of this concept. He is so close with God that he’s even called a man after God’s own heart in the bible. That’s pretty high praise if I do say so myself! The reason why he has such an intimate relationship with God is because he spends time consistently dwelling with God and listening to His words. David even knows how God feels about him and what God calls him.
This is key (this is the foundation of having an Identity in Christ). Even though David spends a large chunk of the Psalms going through the motions of life and fear, he also writes about what God calls him, “fearfully and wonderfully made” (Psalm 139:14). So often in our own lives, we spend time believing the lies we hear about ourselves instead of the truth. Today, we are going to find the truth that God has declared over you. It might be the same as David’s “fearfully and wonderfully made” or it could be something only you would understand. Both are valid because what matters is that it brings you security in your inherent worth.
Ideas for Finding Your Identity in Christ
- What lies about myself do I still believe? -> Once you’ve identified the lies, find the antonyms. For example, if you’ve believed the lie that you are bad, then God calls you, “good.” That one’s even in Genesis 1:31.
- What do I have a hard time believing about myself, truly believing at my core? -> Once you’ve identified this, find the antonym. For example, if you struggle to believe that you’re worthy and priceless, this is exactly what God calls you. What an example? Read Matthew 10:29-31.
- Go through your bible until a word or phrase sticks out and pray about it. -> If it’s still speaking truth over you, then that’s your phrase! You’ll know if you need to keep looking.
- Ask God to show you the truth about your identity that you need to hear and pay attention. It might be a lyric or famous quote where you hear Him calling out to you.
Finding My Identity in Christ
A couple of years ago, I did this exercise for the first time where I looked through the bible a found a word or phrase that I felt like God was speaking over me or figuratively naming me. I’ve done it a couple of other times since and most recently the phrase, “Talitha Koum” (little girl, arise/wake up) has been speaking to me (Mark 5:41). This isn’t something you necessarily have to do–scrolling through the bible one word at a time–because God still speaks today.
The next time you feel yourself starting to spiral out of control. STOP. Take a second to reset and remind yourself of the truth God has spoken over your life. If you need to, write down your “name,” in a place you’ll pass every day. That way it’s always on your mind and there to remind you of who you are whenever you need it.
How it Changed My Life
This identity in Christ that I’m talking about may not include every single word you identify with, but that’s because those words are not the ones you need to be reminded of. It might only relate to one overwhelming false belief about yourself. That’s okay because this identity is meant to tear down the walls you’ve built around that belief. You know the one I’m talking about, right? The one that–whether you like it or not–consumes you day and night.
For me, it was that because I am bisexual God could never love me. Once I realized that God was calling me to wake up from this lie, I did and gave myself a new name, one of love, not of darkness. Your identity in Christ is meant to fully hold you in truth and light while simultaneously setting you free from doubt about who you are at your center. Your identity in Christ is meant to center you; this center never changes regardless of how many mistakes you make, what season you’re in, or even if you’re still unlearning the lies. Some days I still believe that God is disgusted by me but, then, He says, “Talitha Koum” and I remember how powerfully loved and priceless I actually am.
Some days I still believe that God is disgusted by me but, then, He says, "Talitha Koum" and I remember how powerfully loved and priceless I actually am. Share on XYour identity in Christ never changes, yet it’s always growing to become more beautiful than the second before. So, tell me, what is the truth that you need to hear? What does God call you that you struggle to respond to? Is it loved or forgiven or priceless or pure or that He is proud of you? Maybe it’s something else. Whatever it is, I urge you to take the time to begin figuring it out, now.
Five Identity Mistakes & Five Biblical Affirmations
Each of these mistakes is addressed with a specific kind of person in mind. You’ll know if you’re making one of the mistakes if you relate a little too much to the description. When that happens, I challenge you to memorize the affirmation and write it down next to wherever you put your identity reminder.
1. Identity that is Built on People-Pleasing, Support, and/or Attention
You spend most of your time wishing you were at so and so’s get together and FOMO feels more like your middle name. You’re scared to be completely yourself in front of certain people because you know or think that they won’t accept you. You post a picture on social media and feel like no one actually loves you if you don’t get a ton of likes or comments immediately. You feel like some people might even describe you as clingy or call you a people-pleaser or even an attention seeker if they’re honest.
When Jesus shares the Beatitudes, one verse stands out, Matthew 5:11, “Blessed are you when others revile you and persecute you and utter all kinds of evil against you falsely on my account. For all the evil this verse has been used to support, it’s time we flip the narrative. Jesus literally calls the people who aren’t living for others’ approval and are living for Him, blessed. When you are going against the grain to love yourself or love others and people aren’t pleased, you are blessed. It is a good thing to lack support from other people when it’s because you’re living out your identity in Christ.
Affirmation: I am not what other people think of me. I am a beautiful combination of how I think about myself and the truth that Lord has spoken over me.
2. Identity that is Built on Accomplishments, Career Success, and/or Fulfilled Dreams
When you found out your dream school didn’t accept you, you were heartbroken (or you know you would’ve been if that had happened). Your life is completely devoted to your work and nothing else to the point that you sometimes forget to take care of yourself. You got promoted at your job and thought that it would solve all of your problems, but for some reason, it feels like something’s still missing. You know you’d feel like nothing if you hadn’t accomplished all that you have or didn’t have the career that you do or if you didn’t successfully follow your dreams. Other people may call you bossy or even compare your dedication to Caesar or someone else of the like (in a bad way).
In Matthew 4:4, Jesus is being tested by Satan and in response to one of His miracle requests, He says “‘It is written, “Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that comes from the mouth of God.”’” I think this phrase can apply to a lot of different things. But, in this case, it reminds me of how we sometimes depend on our accomplishments, success, or fulfilled dreams instead of our identity in Christ.
Affirmation: I am more than my accomplishments and my success. No matter what happens, good or bad, it is through Christ where I can find my peace.
3. Identity that is Built on Comfort Alone
You like to stay within the realms of your routine and never dare to venture out of it. When other people tell you about how much they hate their lives, you secretly think, I’m glad that’s not me instead of picturing what you could do to help them. You would never sacrifice your plans for anything else, because without that comfort, who are you? Others might get annoyed by your unwillingness to do anything besides what you already know.
Another parable from Matthew 7 (verses 13-14) explains that living a life for Jesus is hard. It’s not going to be easy. Additionally, many people believe that a comfortable life is not a life lived for Jesus Christ (I learned about this idea in Nik Ripken’s The Insanity of God, it’s a really good book but do be warned that it doesn’t have a great portrayal of majority Islamic countries in Africa) because Jesus’ own life was one of great hardship. It doesn’t mean that everything is unnecessarily difficult or that you should make a big deal about how uncomfortable you are. It just means that not everything will be easy and that that’s okay. This is why an identity in Christ is an identity for life (oooo, I just thought of that one and I’m very proud of it).
Affirmation: When it feels like the world is crumbling around me and I must step out into the great unknown, I am still fully known and fully loved by God. Feeling comfortable is not the same as feeling free to be.
4. Identity that is Built on Health, Stability, and/or Relationships
You are quite proud of the fact that you’ve never broken any bones and have always had fairly good health (other than a cavity or two). Your family relationships and friendships are all extremely important to you and there’s not even a ton of drama. You consider yourself to be lucky in that regard, too. Your job isn’t always the best but you can always pay the bills. There’s never much change and you find yourself rooted in the fact that your relationships, finances, and health are never gonna change (at least, not soon anyway). Others might describe you as codependent or controlling at your worst.
If I’m being honest, all of these mistakes are mistakes I’ve made in my own life. However, this was one of the ones that hit me the hardest. Out of seemingly nowhere, I had multiple chronic illnesses and became disabled before the age of 18. My family life has never been stable and I believed my finances were, but that was proven to be incorrect, too. The thing that hurt the most was that I truly believed I would always have my friends to lean on and help me through the painful parts. After I graduated in January, I lost the friends that had mattered most to me. It felt like my whole world had been turned upside down because I couldn’t remember a life without them. Ecclesiastes 3 explains that there is a time for everything and apparently it was my time to find my identity in Christ.
Affirmation: Even though my life could change at any moment, I am still worthy of being called, good and I am still fearfully and wonderfully made. God created me to grow through change and adversity (Proverbs 17:17).
5. Identity that is Built on Comparison and/or Always Being Better Than
It is very important to you what you think other people think of you. As long as you are always better than at least one other talented person, then you feel secure. As long as you are prettier than one other person at the party, you feel comforted. If not, it feels like the rug has been pulled out beneath your feet. Instead of being able to appreciate someone else’s accomplishments, you feel jealous of them and might even seek to one-up them in some way (whether they realize it or not).
Matthew 7:24-27 tells the parable of a house built on rock and a house built on sand. When I read this story, I picture two people who are building houses right next to each other. One of them is genuinely focused on building an amazing house to live in. The other person keeps on looking at their neighbor’s house to make sure their own will be better than the one it’s next to. One day, a storm comes. For a short time, this person’s house did, in fact, look better than their neighbor’s but that didn’t last long because she had forgotten to look down at the ground beneath her feet, supporting her house. Then, it was swept away. So, pay attention to yourself and your own work instead of obsessing over someone else’s. That way you don’t build your identity on the soft sand before a storm.
Affirmation: I am freer when I set other women free from my jealousy. There is enough space for me and my competitors to live abundantly.
Being a Woman After God’s Own Heart
I see this phrase used to demean women or push them into out-dated boxes that don’t actually fit them. No matter what anyone says being a woman after God’s own heart and having a strong identity in Christ does not involve anything related to purity, modesty, self-sacrifice, Proverbs 31, or anything else of the sort. Being a woman after God’s own heart looks like radical love and willingness to address brokenness. Making yourself smaller or locking yourself in a cage of false humility (AKA modesty) only encourages other women to do the same. I don’t think that would qualify as love.
As for your identity in Christ, this is the short version: you were created to be radically loved–whether or not you are actively focused on God is irrelevant–because loving you is just who He is. His love is not dependent on your actions, inaction, identities, sins, success, health, stability, how other people feel about you, or even how you feel about you. He just loves.
You were created to be radically loved–whether or not you are actively focused on God is irrelevant–because loving you is just who He is. His love is not dependent on your actions, success, or how much you love yourself. He just loves. Share on XConclusion
Please don’t let other people or the complicated words of the bible distract you from the truth that you are fully held, known, and loved in Christ. Even if all of your other identities change overnight, this one would still stand. It is not dependent on others’ opinions, your work, or anything else. It just is. Hold onto your truth and don’t lose sight of your identity in Christ. It might feel like the end of something beautiful, but know that believing your identity in Christ is the beginning of something holy.
If you want to read about someone’s journey to finding and believing her identity in Christ, read part 2 of this post, My Identity in Christ by Xash from A Girl With Purpose. Y’all, it’s absolutely amazing! You’ve got to read it <3
