How to Overcome Imposter Syndrome: 5 Ways to Better Cope
Introduction
Everywhere I look on the internet, I see the words, “Imposter Syndrome” over and over again. It’s become a really popular thing to talk about and for good reason. In my own opinion, I think everyone (except maybe narcissists) struggles with imposter syndrome at some point in their lives. For me, it’s something I’ve always dealt with, but never had the words for until more recently. If you didn’t know, imposter syndrome is defined as “a collection of feelings of inadequacy that persist despite evident success.” Basically, it’s that feeling you get that you don’t belong in a certain group of people. For example, someone in thespians might always worry about not being talented enough to stay in the group or singing as well as everyone else because people aren’t passing out at the sound of their beautiful voice (not like I’m talking about myself or anything).
I, personally, have felt everything from knowing I’m out of place to being over-qualified and that’s why I would like to help you learn how to overcome imposter syndrome. Maybe a more accurate title would be how to cope with imposter syndrome because I haven’t met anyone, myself included, that is completely quote-unquote healed. Together, we are going to go through 5 ways to cope with feeling like an outsider.
1. Get Out of Your Comfort Zone
This one is definitely a little cliche, but it’s very important. Do things that scare you or that you know you are unqualified for. First, this helps you to recognize what it actually feels like to be an imposter. Second, if you’re living life outside of your comfort zone, it will make you more comfortable with the idea that it’s okay to not know what you’re doing all of the time. imposter syndrome likes to say that because you don’t know what you’re doing that you don’t belong or that you’re not ready for this challenge. If you’re constantly putting yourself in situations that you don’t feel ready for, imposter syndrome won’t have any power over you when it counts.
2. Leave Yourself Little Reminders
There are three kinds of reminders I’m talking about here: positive affirmations, reminders of your accomplishments/qualifications, and reminders of your ‘why.’ Positive affirmations is pretty self-explanatory, but here’s what I mean about the other two. If you’re having a particularly hard time with imposter syndrome, take a break and remind yourself of your accomplishments and qualifications that support you being there. This could be awards, obstacles you’ve overcome, experience, education, etc.. Literally anything that you’ve done that supports you not being an imposter goes in this list. Reminders of your ‘why’ is just another way to say, “What is your reason for being in this group or for working at this place?” If you have a profoundly important reason, then being qualified or belonging doesn’t matter as much.
For example, picture a woman, we’ll call her Aino, working as a doctor in an ER. It’s exhausting and unpredictable. This is her first “real” job and it’s also kind of terrifying. All of the other doctors she works with are men, 30 years older than she is. They’ve been doctors longer than she’s been alive. Instead of going down this negative spiral, she takes a deep breath. Aino walks to her office and looks at the certificate on the wall marking her MD from Amazing University. She remembers working thousands of hours as an intern, resident, and fellow. She may be new but she is not lacking in time spent in the hospital. She thinks back to why she wanted to be a doctor in the first place. Aino remembers the day her sister became paralyzed because of an ER doctor’s negligence and how she vowed to be a better doctor than he was. Knowing her why, Aino feels a little more reassured. Even if she feels out of place, she knows that that is why she is there, to be a different kind of doctor than the one who treated her sister.
3. Put an End to the People Pleasing & Comparison
I know it’s much easier said than done, but that’s why I call myself a recovering people pleaser. The truth of the matter is if you’re always looking at other people’s accomplishments, you’ll never have time to look at your own. If you’re always trying to make other people happy, then your imposter syndrome is not going to go away. The people you’re trying to please have themselves for that. The only person you’re qualified to make happy, is yourself. If your whole life becomes dependent on the way other people view or compare themselves to you, it will never be enough. You might as well let the imposter syndrome win if you think it will be.
4. Be Prepared!
This might be obvious, but so often we forget or procrastinate on what really needs to get done. Additionally, if you’re unprepared for something, whether it’s a job, exam, or performance, you are going to feel like an imposter. In this case, the imposter syndrome is what your brain resorts to as soon as you begin to realize that you don’t have what’s necessary for you to succeed. Don’t lie about accomplishments, either. That never turns out well.
5. Imposter Syndrome Isn’t Always a Weakness
Imposter syndrome might be difficult to manage, but even when you feel like it, you are not alone in this struggle. Being vulnerable about feeling like an imposter, could bring you closer to the people around you. It also gives you the drive to keep on fighting to improve, just don’t let it go to0 far. Coping with it and, hopefully, figuring out how to overcome imposter syndrome could even give you the resilience you need on your darkest days. Don’t view your imposter syndrome as a failure on your part, reframe how you see it into something that makes you into a more empathetic and creative-thinking person.
Conclusion
I hope that these tips have helped you discover how to overcome imposter syndrome. However it is that you’re feeling about yourself right now, take a deep breath and hold on to these affirmations I want to share with you.
- I am not defined by my accomplishments, qualifications, education, or even my anxieties. I get to choose my identity and I do not place it upon the sand.
- I am powerful, even when I feel helpless. I am a force to be reckoned with when I’ve got God on my side.
- I may be faking it until I make it, but I am not an imposter. Not knowing what to do 100% just makes me human.
