Introduction
Welcome to the last blog post of the, For the Christian Girl series! Today’s post is extra special because I published my first book today, Dwell: A 2 Week Devotional for the Busy Girl. Keep reading til the end to find out more about it and download it for yourself (did I mention you can get it for free?)! Okay, back on topic. In the Christian community, everyone loves to talk about quiet time all the time. However, that’s not because we’re so good at it. It’s usually the exact opposite. So many times, after hearing others talk about quiet time, I have found myself thinking things that sound like this:
- But I’m too tired for a real quiet time.
- If only I knew where to start, then maybe I’d try spending more time with God.
- I just don’t think quiet time is really my thing.
- Okay, but I am WAY too busy to have a quiet time. No, I’m being serious. I love God with all my heart and I STILL don’t think there’s enough time to dwell with HIm.
Recently, something’s changed and I’m no longer listening to other people talk about their amazing quiet time. I’m actually having one for myself! *cue a round of applause* Thank you, thank you.
If I’m being honest, it took a long time to figure out how to have a fruitful quiet time. But I did, eventually, and now you don’t have to do the hard work because I did it for you. Today, I’m going to tell you everything you need to know about quiet time so that you leave thinking, “You know what, Satan? I can actually have a quiet time everyday and I do actually want that for myself!”
What Does a Good Quiet Time Look Like?
Let me tell you something, hon. If you’re asking this question, you are barking up the wrong tree. In the bible, God doesn’t mention specific rules for quiet time–He doesn’t even say the phrase, quiet time, once. The reason why we have quiet time, though, is because we can’t physically spend time with Jesus ourselves (at least that’s why I think so). Having quiet time is the only way we can get one on one time with God. Think about it. In the new testament, the disciples were spending a ton of time traveling, fishing, eating, and living with Jesus. They were just casually doing life with Him. Since Jesus isn’t really around physically anymore, we can only live our lives with Him (individually) by having quiet time. Just like Jesus and the disciples did a wide variety of things together, so can we and Jesus. Our quiet time can involve reading the bible or meditating or writing out a prayer or drawing or literally anything that connects us, personally, to Jesus. Since we are all different people, there is no one size fits all quiet time, nor is there a step by step method that will work for everyone. I wish there was some magic wand I could wave to give you the perfect quiet time, but that’s not how it works. While I can’t tell you every step that will work for you, I can give you some ideas.
Now, let’s get back to the original question at hand. Since we’re all on the same page that every quiet time will not look the same, I can’t say exactly what a quote-unquote good quiet time will look like. However, here are three questions to guide you in having a quiet time that raises the roof (or to put it differently, bridges the gap between you and yourself, you and other people, and you and God).
- Am I dreading, disliking, or stressing over my quiet time? Do I feel safe, comfortable, and free during my quiet time?
- Is my quiet time diluting God? Is my quiet time a performance of piety for the sake of others’ expectations? Is my quiet time diminishing my productivity and/or increasing my exhaustion?
- Am I truly growing in my understanding of myself, the world, and/or God during my quiet time?
Please take the time to answer these questions and evaluate your own quiet time (if you have one) before continuing to read this article. Regardless of what you are doing during your quiet time, it should follow the pattern of these answers (of course, your answers will probably look a little different but still they should reach the same conclusion as these):
- I am not dreading, disliking, or stressing over my quiet time. I do feel safe, comfortable, and free during my quiet time.
- My quiet time is magnifying God and it is not for the sake of others’ expectations. My quiet time is not diminishing my productivity or increasing my exhaustion (maybe it’s even giving me more energy and God-filled results).
- Yes, my understanding of myself, the world, and/or God is changing and growing because of my daily quiet time.
If one of your answers is the opposite of these, then it’s time to change up your quiet time routine! Don’t feel bad if that’s you, it was me, too, until this year. Your answers to the questions above may be a little different than mine and you could still be having a healthy quiet. Your answers could even be the same as mine and still not change the fact that you’re having a quiet time which is detrimental to your faith. That’s why I’m asking you to be honest with yourself and not copy my answers. If you think that you answered one of the questions in a way that misrepresents what’s really going on or how you feel about your quiet time, please pause and re-answer the question with the truthful answer. I will not judge you. I would’ve answered all the right ways without even batting an eye before realizing I was lying. It took realizing that I had been asking all the wrong questions for me to realize I had been answering the right ones in all the wrong ways. You know what I’m talking about, hon. You know those questions like, “How do I pray in a way that pleases God?” or “What should I wear to make God proud of me?” Girl, there is nothing you can say, pray, do, or wear that will change how much God already loves you. Nothing can replace an earnest desire to live like Jesus and if you’ve read this far, you probably have that. So, what does a good quiet time look like? It looks like whatever you need it to look like as long as you’re building the bridge between you and yourself, you and the world, and you and God, not burning it.
The Secret to a Successful Quiet Time
There is one secret to having a successful quiet time, though, that I think is often overlooked or ignored, and that is learning to dwell. The word dwell is defined as “to exist in a given place or state.” When talking about dwelling in God, I like to think of it as “to wholly exist in love and peace” and you can learn more on that in my book. This means that we are spending time with dwelling with God when we are in the physical, emotional, and mental place of exploring Him and His love. There are so many different things you can do to dwell, but here are a couple of ideas for you to explore if you aren’t sure where to start.
Bible Journaling
- Perfect for anyone looking to get to know themselves and God at the same time and anyone who is artistic or wouldn’t mind writing in their bible.
- If you aren’t familiar with bible journaling or you don’t know where to start, I wrote an article with everything you need to know, from the different styles, my favorite supplies, and even included a printable with the ultimate advice for bible journaling beginners!
- Pros: Perfect for people who love to write or use art as a way to express themselves, allows you to spend more time digging into the word and how you feel about it, flexible in that it can be more writing or art heavy depending on the person
The SOAP Method
- Perfect for people who like to read a passage in the bible or a daily devotional and follow a step by step method to organize their quiet times.
- This method follows the pattern, Scripture, Observance, Application, and Prayer. You record what you read, write down something you noticed, explain how you can apply it to your life, and write a short prayer. I created a worksheet (in color and black and white) that you can print out to organize your quiet time! This printable also includes a section for to write down three things you’re grateful for whenever you do your quiet time!
- Pros: Quick and easy way to get something out of every quiet time, perfect for people who want a little more organization because you can just stick papers in a binder, doesn’t require you to write in your bible if you don’t want to
Prayer Journaling
- Perfect for anyone who doesn’t want to bible journal but still loves the idea of writing and journaling
- This is where you take a notebook and spend time writing out your prayers to God as if you were talking to your best friend or however you want to do it.
- Pros: It’s always fun to have something to look back on and see what you’ve overcome since then, great for all the writers out there, feels more personal than other ways of spending time with God, journaling has been proven to have health benefits
Meditation
- Perfect for people who want to have a quiet time but don’t like the idea of reading and writing all the time.
- If you’re interested in trying this out, here are a few guidelines. Set a timer for a short period of time (like ten minutes) for the first time, don’t play music, stay away from your phone or any other distraction no matter how tempting it is, find a cozy, quiet place (the floor of your closet might be a good place to start if it’s big enough), and close your eyes while you try to quiet your mind. It will get easier as time goes on and you’ll be able to focus for longer periods of time the more you do it.
- Pros: Can take as much or as little time as you want it to, Has lots of health benefits, perfect for people who don’t want to read or write every day, one way to get to know yourself better as well as God
Music
- Perfect for anyone who is skeptical of meditation, but doesn’t enjoy the writing, organization, reading, or creativity of the other ideas and anyone who loves expressing themselves through playing an instrument or singing
- I first realized that music could be a way to dwell in God early in high school. There is something so powerful about plugging in earbuds, listening to Jesus music, and closing your eyes. And I’m not talking about Christian rap or rock, I’m talking about any music that’s just spontaneous or a vulnerable song of worship to God.
- Pros: Can take as much or as little time as you want it to, a perfect way to unwind after a stressful day and still spend time with God, can easily be combined with prayer journaling or some other idea kind of dwelling in the Lord
How to Have a Quiet Time When You’re Way Too Busy
Feeling like you don’t have enough time to have a quiet time, doesn’t make you a bad Christian. It just means you’ve gotta change how you view what quiet time involves. We’ve already talked about how quiet time can look different for every one and I’ve shared a few ideas with you to successfully dwell in the Lord. However, your quiet time is not limited by my examples, but it can be limited by what you believe about quiet time. If you believe that you can’t dwell with God because you’re too busy, then you’re not going to spend any time with God. In this case, it really is all about shifting your motivation and priorities a little bit before you’re able to find something that works for you not because your priorities don’t include God but because how you view them needs to be changed before anything relating to quiet time will actually happen (if you really don’t prioritize something, it’s not going to happen no matter what it is). Fortunately, there are plenty of ways you can change how you understand quiet time so that you can truly dwell with God.
Top 10 Tips for Having an Effective Quiet Time:
1. Find a place to dwell
- Are you having your quiet time in a place that is comfortable for you?
- Is your space for dwelling broken into (you know how you break into a new pair of shoes)? Are there things that make you feel at home and transport you to a personal safe haven)?
- Tip: It doesn’t have to be fancy or expensive. Just choose one thing that represents peace and keep it in the area you dwell with God. That’s where it lives and every time you have quiet time, you can look at it, too. If you want something free, you could print the artwork at the beginning of Dwell!
2. Wake up earlier/Go to sleep later
- Some of us busy people already wake up or go to bed at ungodly hours. If that’s you, then don’t even think about trying to apply this to your life and go get some sleep!
- However, if you could manage to wake up or go to sleep 15 minutes earlier/later, you could have a whole quiet time.
- Tip: Remember, quiet time doesn’t have to take a whole hour of your time. There’s no need to feel bad about only spending 15 minutes with God every day. All the means is that you’re spending time with God everyday!
3. Shift your understanding of what a good quiet time looks like so you actually feel motivated and prioritize it.
- We talked about this earlier, but do you have any preconceived notions about what a good quiet time should look like? If you do, I want you to write it down and burn that piece of paper up as soon as you put down your pen because that pressure does not belong in your life on top of everything else you’re dealing with!
- Tip: Ask yourself, “If I could do anything to spend time with God, what would I do?” Once you have that answer, you are gonna do it no matter what it is (unless it’s not safe or smart or is, in retrospect, really expensive, but you know what I mean).
4. Change your expectations for yourself
- This goes hand in hand with the paradigm shift above. Once you know what it is that you want in your quiet time and what you want to get from it, don’t stop there. Keep on going until all the expectations that are holding you back are gone!
- Tip: Quiet time doesn’t have to be a specific daily routine if that just doesn’t work for you because “even breathing–just being alive–is an act of worship when we’re breathing in the presence of God.” And, yes, that’s a quote from Dwell.
5. Ask yourself, do I hunger for God?
- This is a weird one, but if you’re reading this I’m going to assume that you speak Christianese.
- Ask yourself and answer completely honestly
- If you feel like you don’t have a genuine hunger for God, ask Him to change your heart and start implementing little things in your life to make a change. I know this may seem counter-intuitive but what I’m talking about here is when someone wants to have or maybe even thinks they have an authentic relationship with God but later realizes that they’ve been believing what their family members believe or that they’ve been pursuing God to impress other people, but they want that to change.
6. Be authentic before God
- Here’s another direct quote from Dwell, God “doesn’t want to get to know the you that your friends and family see. He wants to know the you that no one else sees. He wants to know the you that He created.” I just couldn’t have said it any better.
- Tip: God gave us freewill so we could choose for ourselves whether or not we want to follow Him. The same applies to whether or not we want to have a genuine relationship with Him and how deep we’re willing to be.
7. Stay consistent with your quiet time
- Don’t stop having a quiet time because you feel like you’ve lost motivation. Think about it like this, do you stop hanging out with someone because you don’t find them as exciting as you used to? I sure hope not.
- Quiet time is necessary during good and bad seasons, so you don’t lose sight of God.
- Tip: If you find that you’re constantly forgetting about dwelling in the Lord, add it to your calendar app as a habit or reminder that occurs daily and sends you a notification.
8. Try having quiet time during your daily commute
- If you drive, listen to a daily bible reading, a podcast episode about theology, or live worship music (and SING).
- If you ride a bus or metro, read your bible or do any of the above if you get car sick.
- Tip: Commute quiet times will only work for people who have a mindless commute. However, there are other ways to replicate this, though with other mindless activities like showering.
9. Don’t fight to stay focused; dwell in a way that works for you
- You should spend time with God in a way you actively want to
- For example, if you hate reading, don’t force yourself to read your bible. You’re just going to hate every second of the quiet time that’s supposed to bring you peace. Listen to it instead or do something completely different all together.
- Tip: This is where sports, art, and other hobbies might come in as ways to spend time with God.
10. Make quiet time a routine or don’t (whatever works for you)
- Do you like routines or do you like to go with the flow?
- Tip: whichever one works best for you, is how you should do your quiet time. If you like routine, set a time that you will dwell in the Lord every single day. If not, just set a goal and make sure you meet it. No routine is necessary in quiet time if you don’t want it to be.
Conclusion
While this may be the end of the blog post, it is not the end of learning how to dwell in a healthy way that works for you even when you’re busy. I wrote a book, Dwell: A 2 Week Devotional for the Busy Girl, that includes 14 days of devotionals and journaling prompts so you can figure out what works for you, what changes you do or don’t need to make, and leave with a better understanding of who God is and how to spend time with Him. I wrote this book to the girl I used to be who was confused about the why’s and how’s of having quiet time, what I now call dwelling in the Lord. In addition to Dwell having devotionals and journaling pages, each day gives you a challenge on how to apply what you’ve learned to your life. That way you don’t have to spend time trying to figure out what to do next. Take a look at the printable I created with Psalm 91:1 (the verse that inspired the whole book) Isn’t it so cute!? Not only did I do all of that, Instead of paying for another book that won’t actually help you begin having a quiet time, you can get all of this (and more) for free! I chose to make Dwell available for free because I want you to be able to feel the freedom I felt in discovering how to dwell and learning who God actually is (instead of just ignoring the questions I had) no matter what your financial situation is.
If you are hesitating on reading this book, just do it. There is literally no pressure to complete it in 14 days, you can take as long as you need to. Even so, I don’t think any of the devotionals and journaling prompts would take you more than 15 minutes. After reading this book, you will learn how to dwell in the Lord every day no matter how busy you are and, let me tell you something, I promise that it’s gonna change your life. Even if you aren’t usually the ‘busy girl,’ there is still so much for you to learn! To download Dwell and start experiencing the power of daily quiet time, subscribe using the form below. This way I can actually get the PDF to you and keep up with you in the future so you can access even more free resources.
However, if you don’t want to subscribe, don’t worry. You can buy Dwell, here, for $2.99. Within the next 72 hours, it should also be on Amazon so I will be adding that link, too (eventually, it should be on Ibooks as well). There is one major difference between the Ebook Edition and the Subscriber Edition. Because ebooks don’t allow you to print or use color for the most part, there are no spaces to write out your response to the journaling prompts and all of the beautiful graphic design elements of the subscriber edition cannot be included. It just looks like a regular ebook when you buy it, but it’s okay because all of the amazing memory verses, devotionals, journal prompts, and challenges are included!
Once you read Dwell, I would love it if you could share the message with your friends who are losing hope in Christianity and quiet time. If you decide to share it on social media, don’t forget to tag me! I would love to hear about how Dwell helped you grow in your relationship with God!
